HARD AND SOFT NATURES
A Psychological Overview
This book's selections are a work in progress meant to introduce the reader to some basic thoughts on the distinction between hard and soft natures (or character, temperament, disposition), and how crucial to human understanding is this distinction.
It complements our conscious transformation by sharpening the mind in recognizing the differing traits of hard and soft natures, and how this recognition is crucial in determining whether a person is susceptible to human understanding and transcendence. ______________________________________________________________________
Quotations on the Differences between Hard and Soft Natures
The author on the Differences between Hard and Soft Natures
The following selections are a work in progress meant to introduce the reader to some basic thoughts on the distinction between hard and soft natures (or characters). Consider these selections as exploratory rather than final.
Various Quotations on the Differences between Hard and Soft Natures
 "He is not a strong character. He can be easily influenced for good, but also for bad. I hope for his sake that his good side will remain uppermost, because by nature that is how he is."
- Diary of Ann Frank
 "He's a wild beast, while you and I are domestic animals."
- Turgenev, Fathers and Sons
 "When two men learn different things from life, it may be because they experienced it differ- ently; but it can also arise from the fact that they themselves were different. If two children were brought up together and shared everything in common, so that if one was singled out for commen- dation, the other was also; if one was rebuked, the other was likewise; if one was punished, the other was also; still it would be true that they might learn absolutely different things. For the one might learn whenever it was commended, not to be proud; everytime it was rebuked to humble itself under the admonition; every time it was punished to profit by the suffering. The other might learn, when it was commended, to become arrogant; when it was rebuked, to harbor resentment; whenever it was punished, to store up secret anger."
- Soren Kierkegaard, Edyfying Discourses
 "Generally, the formation of individual character is determined by the impact of its life experience, the individual ones and those which follow from the culture, on temperament and physical constitution. Environment is never the same for two people, for the difference in constitution makes them experience the same environment in a more or less different way."
- Eric Fromm, Man for Himself
 "The first thing, as we said at the outset,is to get a clear view of their [those of a philosophic temperament] inborn disposition ... the nature we are seeking cannot fail to possess truthfulness, a love of truth and a hatred of falsehood that will not tolerate untruth in any form ... such a one will be temperate and no lover of money ... he is fair-minded, gentle and sociable ... a mind en- dowed with measure and grace ... by nature quick to learn and to remember, magnanimous and gracious, the friend and kinsman of truth, justice, courage, temperance..."
- Plato, The Republic, Bk 6
 "In general it seems that emotion does not yield to argument but only to force. Therefore,
there must first be a character that somehow has an affinity for excellence or virtue, a character that loves what is noble and feels disgust at what is base. ... It seems that the various kinds
of character inhere in all of us, somehow or other, by nature. we tend to be just, capable of self-control, and to show all our other character traits from the time of our birth."
- Aristotle, Nicomachian Ethics
 "Ethical writers who promise to produce a system of ethics that will morally improve man and who speak of a progress in virtue are always triumphantly refuted by reality and experience, which have demonstrated that virtue is inborn and cannot result from sermons. As something original, character is unchangeable, and therefore impervious to all improvement by means of rectification of knowledge."
- Schopenhauer, On the Basis of Morality, Chapter 20)
2 The fundamental element, the positive factor, in the moral as well as the intellectual and the physical, is that which is inborn; art can everywhere only help. Everyone is what he is "by the grace of God," so to speak. ... Susceptibility to the motives of selfishness, malice, and compassion, which differs so widely in different men
and on which the whole of man's moral worth depends, is not a thing that can be explained from something else or acquired through instruction, and therefore something originating in time, and changeable in fact, dependent on change. On the contrary, it is something that is inborn, unchangeable, and incapable of further explanation.
 " But as the same turn of imagination prevails not in every man, nor gives the same direction to the original passion, this is sufficient ... to make the widest difference inhuman characters and denominate one man virtuous and human, another vicious and meanly interested."
- David Hume, Inquiry Concerning the Principles of Morals
 "The moral feelings are not indeed a part of our nature, in the sense of being in any perceptive degree in all of us."
- J. S Mill, Utilitarianism
 "I believe that when it comes to a sense of justice and consideration for others, to the dislike of making others suffer or taking advantage of them, I can measure myself with the best people I have known. I have never done anything mean or malicious, nor have I felt any temptation to do so, with the result that I am not in the least proud of it ... When I ask myself why I have always aspired to behave honestly, to spare others and to be kind wherever possible, and why I didn't cease doing so when I realized that in this way one comes to harm and becomes an anvil because other people are brutal and unreliable, then indeed I have no answer. Sensible this certainly was not. In my youth I didn't feel any special ethical aspirations, nor does the conclusion that I am better than others give me any recognizable satisfaction! ... So one could cite just my case as proof of your assertion that such an urge toward the ideal forms a considerable part of our inheritance. If only more of this precious inheritance could be found in other human beings!"
- Freud to James J. Putman
 "Her essence is gentleness." Said of Laura in the play Tea and Sympathy.
 "I have a very positive bubbly personality; I am very loving and extremely caring. I adore my children and would die for them in a second if the need arose."
 "If I feel compassion or love or sympathy I am lost. I cannot allow myself to feel these things else I break-down. I must feel anger. I don't want anger. Its no good for my soul. I try to surround myself with good things, good thoughts...wholesome things. BUT I AM ANGRY!!!"
 "It is really difficult to give up one's beliefs that all humans are basically good, and that "God is in his heaven, and all is right with the world." Clearly, that is not so."
 Soft-natured but without judgment:
1. "Basically, the thing that got me into trouble was my kindness."
2. "I would say my biggest weakness is a heart that is too compassionate; and a high level of tolerance of nonsense."
 A woman: "My mother was an ice maiden, cold. she had condemned me to hell."
The Author on the Differences between Hard and Soft Natures
LATEST RANDOM NOTES ON HARD AND SOFT NATURES
 Soft-natured a sensitively tempered person; hard-natured an insensitively tempered person.
 Degree of innate intelligence could determine in large part one's character. If one is more intelligent than another, it could be understandable that he or she would be more dominating; just as physical strength dominates over physical weakness.
 The soft female body and a soft-nature do not necessarily go together, complement each other
 Slavish weakness (from over-softness) in its own way can be just as harmful as brute strength (from hardness).
 Dostoievsky on inborn nature (The Idiot, chapter 7): "As to what you said about my face, you are absolutely correct in your judgment. I am a child, and know it. I knew it long before you said so; you have expressed my own thoughts. I think your nature and mine must be extremely alike, and I am very glad of it. We are like two drops of water, only you are a man and I a woman, and I've not been to Switzerland, and that is all the difference between us."
 A ruthless opportunist (hard natured) by any means or extent to get what he wants.
 We have to allow for a degree of self-centeredness and selfishness in all of us, hard and soft natures alike. It is a matter of more or less.
 Forceful but not especially dominating soft-natured.
 Callous hard skinned
 Hardened (as by environmental influences) as distinguished from hard (as inborn)
 A person's quiet manner, his engaging personality, can deceive us into thinking he or she is soft-natured.
 A person can be so absorbed in one's self that there is little or no concern for anyone else in his domain, unless it is forced or pretended.
 He is hard-natured but weak-willed.
 Source of conflict between people: "You are ruthless against others and I am not." the dis-tinction between hard and soft natures.
 Hard natures find it difficult, if at all, to love unselfishly.
 There is a difference between speaking coarsely for effect and speaking coarsely as natural speech cadences. Perhaps this can distinguish the hard from soft persons.
 The hard-natured person does not love or care as deeply as the soft-natured person because he is too realistic, too skeptical, to be sensitive to the fine feelings between people.
 A hard-natured person and a soft-natured person may hold similar views about a particular subject matter, but they will always have different attitudes toward it.
 We have to consider very carefully those who are "soft" because of circumstances, such as obesity, ugliness, being in a subservient position, etc. These circumstances force them to be "soft" in order to appeal to the good-natured ones. Similarly, with soft people who are forced to be hard, as in war or in gangs.
 Authors, playwrights, consciously or unconsciously know the distinction between hard and soft natures; for it is portrayed in their characters; and is the essence of character conflict.
 Difference between toughness and hardness; a soft person can be tough and just as tough as a naturally tough person when tough for the right reason or cause. Toughness in soft-natures are more circumstantial than natural; and natural in hard natures.
 Difference between a soft-natured parent and a hard-natured parent: "I don't want my child to go through what I did; I want him to have all the advantages" vs. "It was good enough for me, so it is good enough for my child."
 Is it basically because Marlon Brando is basically hard that he portrayed Stanley in Streetcar Named Desire so penetratingly; or because he is basically soft, and hence sensitive to understand the character's hardness?
 What of Wagner who known as an egomaniac; yet he was sensitive enough to be a great musician? Soft or Hard? But I thought ego-centricity is primarily hard-natured quality? Then perhaps, an artist can be hard-natured. But if he is then that means he is malleable, impression- able, empathetic, etc. all these qualities that belong primarily to a soft person. Perhaps, then, genius has a premium on egocentricity. Or was he simply a great talent, a clever manipulator not only of people, but of ideas, rather than genius?
 A soft-natured person gets into the habit of being the "tough" guy (swearing, etc.) because
he thinks it is expected of him. This habit becomes part of his character, yet he is pulled in two directions. This is what we mean when we say a person has become hardened. We do not say hard, but hardened.
 Because of larger dispersion of the male hormone, androgen, men normally are harder than women, and hence less feeling, less emotional, which defines their masculine, manly, male traits. But if in some men, androgen is balanced with the female hormone, estrogen, then you have the more complex, intricate masculine-feminine man; and vice versa with women.
 An excess of feminine qualities (estrogen) in a women without being balanced by masculine qualities (androgen) causes a lapse into mere femaleness, an overly submissive female. Converse- ly, a preponderance of masculine qualities (androgen) in a man minus the feminine qualities (es- trogen) of a woman causes a lapse into sheer brutishness.
 The reason why hard-natured persons deliberately shun a strong soft-natured person is that they recognize that such persons can see through them, and are stronger than they are; hence they ignore, disdain, or avoid, or at the least, tolerate them.
 There is a difference between talking coarsely for effect and talking coarsely naturally. Per- haps this can distinguish the hard from soft persons.
 The hard natured person does not love as deeply as the soft-natured person because he is too realistic, too skeptical, to be sensitive to the fine feelings between people.
 A hard-nature and a soft-nature may hold similar views about a subject matter but they will always have different attitudes toward it.
 We have to consider very carefully those who are "soft" because of untoward circumstances, such as obesity, ugliness, being in a subservient position, etc. These circumstances force them to be "soft". Similarly, with soft people who are forced to be hard, as in war or in gangs.
 Authors, playwrights, consciously or unconsciously know the distinction between hard and soft natures; for it is portrayed in their characters (Hamlet), and is the essence of character con- flict.
 Difference between toughness and hardness; a soft person can be tough or hard because of circumstances; a hard person, because of naturalness.
 Difference between a soft-nature parent and a hard-natured parent: "I don't want my child to go through what I did; I want him to have all the advantages" vs. "It was good enough for me, so it is good enough for my child."
 Is it basically because Marlon Brando is basically hard that he portrayed Stanley in Streetcar Named Desire so penetratingly; or because he is soft, and hence sensitive to understand the character's hard- hardness?
 A soft-natured person gets into the habit of being the "tough" guy (swearing, etc.) because
he thinks it is expected of him. This habit becomes part of his character, yet he is pulled in two directions. This is what we mean when we say a person has become hardened. We do not say he- she is hard, but hardened.
 Hard natures play off a person's conscience, and accordingly control and dominate them accordingly.
 One's conscience can be so dictatorial, so dominating, that one can become stifled, and so dysfunctional.
 Conscience is essentially a soft-natured trait.
 The more soft-natured one is the more impressionable he or she is.
 An analogy with soft and hard natures could be seen with wax. The warmer wax becomes the more impressions can be made with it; the harder it is the less impressions can be made on it. A knife flakes a hard candle; that same knife cuts through a soft candle. Soft = warm or hot; hard = cool or cold. The hotter wax becomes the less pliable it becomes so that it melts rather than have an impression made upon it = overly, excessively, soft.
 An excessive amount of androgen in a female, the harder she is though, not necessarily hard-natured; an excessive amount of estrogen in a male, the softer he is though not necessarily soft-natured.
 The reason why a hard person deliberately shuns a strong soft-natured is that they recognize that such people can see through them, and are stronger than them; hence they ignore, disdain, or avoid them.
 Soft-natured: "I like you! I just get such a nice feeling about you as a person. Sometimes I disagree with things you say but even in your expression about things that I disagree with, you are without guile, malice, and hidden agendas. You have a lovely clean way of communicating that restores my faith in humanity. You seem to have a lovely balance of deep intelligence, emotional depth and being a steady person by nature. It's just very nice. I'm glad you're here."
LATEST RANDOM NOTES ON HARD AND SOFT NATURES
1. Two human types that are crucial in understanding human character, and especially one's own character, as well are soft-natures and hard-natured persons.
I name them "natures" insofar as individuals, I believe, are born either predominantly hard or predominantly soft; it is their nature, their particular physiological psychological make-up (dispo- sition, temperament) to be one or the other, and all the variations thereof. These distinctions are crucial in understanding human nature inasmuch as hard-natured persons are disposed to pathic, predatory behavior in the extreme; whereas soft-natured individuals are disposed to neurotic, victimized behavior, in the extreme.
2. As for the nature vs. nurture distinction, I opt for nature being the predominate factor that determines an individual's natural temperament, much as is witnessed with the higher animals that we are familiar with, such as cats and dogs. There is no way, other than chemically, that a cat or a dog that is born aggressively mean-spirited (hard-natured) or passively-gentle-spirited (soft-natured) can be essentially modified to its opposite. Yes, it's true that by abusive force (environ- ment) a naturally aggressive, mean-spirited dog can be forced into submissive behavior; but it is his behavior that has been modified, not his nature; fear has modified the chemistry of his brain and glands so that he acts submissively under certain conditions. But fear cannot modify his genetic network that was invariably patterned upon conception. Similarly with a naturally soft-natured dog; it's hardly imaginable that under normal living conditions, that such a dog can be conditioned or forced into being a mean-spirited, aggressive dog.
One other point in the fixed nature of animals, taking certain breeds of dogs as a species, do not breeders over the years breed certain dogs to be sheep dogs or guard dogs, or lap dogs, or whatever else; and that breeders of sheep dogs, for instance, select the new-born sheep dogs that are naturally aggressive and restless to be the best guards, and dismiss the others? Does not this fact in itself provide conclusive proof of the fixed nature of animals not only as a species, but individually?
Certainly, humans are far more complex than dogs or cats; but I'm sure that anyone who has observed brutish conditions facing a man or woman would recognize similar patterns in human beings. An innately soft-natured person who is mistreated in her childhood, or simply is not af- fectionately loved as her particular being needs to be, tends to become dysfunctional, excessive, extreme in one way or another that, from one perspective, is self-protective; yet on another per- spective, is self-destructive, because she is not living according to her natural propensities to love and be loved moderately or immoderately. In such circumstances, her self-identity is askew, off kilter, unknown to her, absorbed in others' expectations, values and beliefs.
I, of course, speak in the extreme, more or less; since no one can be loved nor express love consistently, continually, as one would prefer; since life situations and people can never come up to what we idealize them to be. I speak rather from the position of a serious lack of such love in a person's life that can throw, or tip, him over to abnormality or oddity, or self-destruction, and the like. Such love needed in a loving person's life includes expressions of affection, sympathy, com- passion, understanding, concern, patience, helpfulness, togetherness, freedom to be oneself, guidance, and so forth. Such love I define as an affectionate bond of compassionate unity. Such love is an essential aspect of a soft-natured person, or simply a soft-nature. A person who signifi- cantly lacks these love expressions in his/her makeup can be considered as hard-natured, or simp- ly, a hard-nature. In the extreme, at the point of being deliberately and consistently inclined to hurt others, such hard-natured persons are considered as pathics, as this book well describes them.
2. Put simply, a hard-natured person is less impressionable than a soft-natured person; which means that social values and rules, concern for other people's feelings and rights do not make much of an imprint upon him/her as they do for soft-natures. Analogously, we might say that a soft-natured person is like warm wax in which a thumb impression goes deeply; whereas a hard-natured person is like cold wax in which little or no impression is possible. Of course, there are degrees of heat that make wax more or less impressionable; and the less heat applied to the wax the harder it is to make a thumb impression; in which case, we have a hard-natured person in the extreme, as pathic; inasmuch as a narcipath is not as hard-natured as a sociopath, nor a sociopath as hard- natured as a psychopath.
In other words, the more impressionable a person is psychologically, the softer natured he or she is; and conversely, the less impressionable a person is psychologically, the harder natured that person is.
3. A further extension of this wax analogy: An analogy with soft and hard natures could be seen with wax. The warmer wax becomes, the more impressions can be made with it; the harder it becomes, the less impressions can be made on it. A knife flakes a hard candle; that same knife cuts through a soft candle. Soft = warm or hot; hard = cool or cold. The hotter wax becomes the less pliable, impressionable, it becomes, so that it melts rather than receives an impression made upon it. Hence, analogously speaking, we have what I term, the neuropath: the person who tends to be inwardly destructive, against himself, or simply self-destructive. The cooler, then colder, wax becomes, the less pliable, impressionable, it becomes. Again, analogously speaking, we have the pathic (psychopath, sociopath, narcipath), who tends to be outwardly destructive against others, or other-destructive.
4. Loosely speaking, a hard-nature is hard wired physiologically, temperamentally that is, psycho- somatically; and a soft-nature is soft-wired physiologically and temperamentally that is, psychosomatically.
5. We tend to think that soft-natures are good only, loving only, considerate only, helpful only, compassionate only, and so forth, without considering that they too have their extremes as do hard-natures; and can be, and are, destructive in their own ways.
6. An excessively hard-natured person makes for the pathic (destructive, harmful, evil) type of person, whether as a narcipath (an extreme narcissist), a sociopath, a psychopath, or a psycho-
tictpath. An excessively soft-natured person makes for the neurotic type of person. Such neurotics can be typified as a neuropathic type of person, whether as ego-neurotic, socio-neurotic, or psy-choneurotic. Self-destruction is such a person's earmark.
An ego-neurotic (generally speaking) is a person whose ego, self-identity, is so extremely fragile that she turns passively in on herself self-destructively either consciously or unconsciously. Such a person tends toward such mental disorders as manic-depression, schizophrenia, delusional or eat- ing disorders, paranoia, and the like, to escape, bypass, her particular psychic emptiness or vulner- ability.
A socio-neurotic (generally speaking) is a person whose ego, self-identity, is so extremely fra- gile that he turns outward from himself self-destructively, either consciously or unconsciously. Such a person tends toward workaholism, or humanitarian or political activism, and the like, in order to escape, bypass, compensate for, his particular psychic emptiness or vulnerability which is not to say that all such activities are peopled by only socio-neurotics.
A psycho-neurotic (generally speaking) is one whose ego, self-identity, is so extremely fragile that she turns aggressively against herself self-destructively. Such a person tends toward self-abnegation, self-laceration, death-defying risks, and the like, to escape, bypass, her particular psy- chic emptiness or vulnerability.
7. Moderate hard-natures would have no problem hurting others' feelings; but they would stop short at hurting another's well-being. That is where the pathics go.
8. Pathics tend to be aggressive; neuropathics tend to be passive the sadist/masochist contrast.
9. The softer natures right on through to the neuropathics are the ideal victims for pathics. These latter can spot their victims as surely as the stalking lion spots and pounces on the weaker prey.
10. The distinctions between the narcipath, sociopath, and psychopath, are, of course on the same continuum of hard-naturedness, from hard (narcissist) to harder (sociopath) to hardest (psycho- path). They are hardened against affectionate, sympathetic, compassionate human feelings and sentiments. They act mainly on intensified, raw-edged emotions, such as, resentment, rage, hatred, envy, revengefulness, and the like, that have been conditioned to be kept in check where necessary by their pretenses of human, engaging feelings. When it is said that these types of individuals have no feelings, this is partly right inasmuch as they have none of the soft feelings for others - only raw, intense emotions; but they do experience the softer feelings toward themselves, in that narcissists, I'm sure, feel affection (Aren't I the one!) toward themselves however excessive or distorted that affection may be; sociopaths no doubt feel pride (Aren't I the one!) at their man- ipulation, and control over, others. Psychopaths surely feel glee at their diabolical doings (Aren't I the one!).
11. Hard-natures in the extreme (pathics) intentionally break down the well-being of others; by contrast, soft natures in the extreme (neurotics) often enough impulsively break down the well-being of themselves; and in the process, indirectly break down the well-being of those close to them.
12. Pathically, hard-natures are mostly in control of their destructive actions toward others they gauge surreptitiously their schemes and actions; whereas neurotically soft-natures are mostly out of control of their self-destructive behavior. Impulsiveness is their earmark, just as it is with path- ically hard-natures .
13. Consider pathics, as a whole, as hard-natures, and realize that they are all capable of using and abusing others for their own gratification. The extent to which they will go regarding this abuse decides whether they are narcipaths, sociopaths, psychopaths, or psychoticpaths. Narci- paths need to shine and so put everyone else down as shadows of their light. Sociopaths need to control, manipulate, and dominate; and so will use and abuse everyone for this purpose. Psycho- paths need to hurt and harm, and so will use and abuse everyone for that purpose. The common thread weaving through pathics' behavior, however they may differ in their respective behavioral patterns, is harm. Harm they will do to anyone without compunction if need be or want be. Aside from their blatant bullying or brutality, the basic pattern of pathics can be summed up in this simple couplet: First they charm you
then they harm you.
14. The following continuums are rough - and I emphasize the word "rough" - approximations in an attempt to consolidate the variations and differences between hard and soft natures.
If a person is 10% soft-natured, then he is 90% hard-natured
If a person is 20% soft-natured, then he is 80% hard-natured
If a person is 30% soft-natured, then he is 70% hard-natured
If a person is 40% soft-natured, then he is 60% hard-natured
If a person is 50% soft-natured, then he is 50% hard-natured
If a person is 60% soft-natured, then he is 40% hard-natured
If a person is 70% soft-natured, then he is 30% hard-natured
If a person is 80% soft-natured, then he is 20% hard-natured
If a person is 90% soft-natured, then he is 10% hard-natured
moderate hard-natures (narcipaths)
extreme hard-natures (sociopaths)
vicious hard-natures (psychopaths)
fiendish hard-natures (psychoticpaths)
hard-natured tendencies are moderately pathic (narcipathic) at 60%
hard-natured tendencies are extremely pathic (sociopathic) at 70%
hard-natured tendencies are viciously pathic (psycho- pathic) at 80%
hard-natured tendencies are fiendishly pathic (psychoticpathic) at 90%
15. The further a person is from the median, either on the soft or hard natured side, the further from normalcy (the norm in human behavior) that person tends.
16. A narcipath acts abusively more from egotistical motives than does a sociopath or psychopath.
17. The terms: psychopath, narcipath, sociopath, psychoticpath are clinical terms that signify per- sons of a hard nature taken to such an extreme that they are implacably rigid emotionally, intel- lectually, feelingly. Sensitivity is absolutely beyond their human capacity. Harming others is as natural to them as benefiting others is as natural to persons of a soft nature.
18. A hardened person is not basically a hard-nature, but a soft-nature turned hard by various untoward circumstances, such as abuse or ad- dictions.
19. Could it be that a person who is, say, 60% soft-natured would be unhealthily attracted to a person who is 60% hard-natured?
20. The terms "hard" and "soft" natures have at least three advantages over the pathic terms for our understanding - one, they are not clinical terms with all the accompanying scientific jargon; two, are self-explanatory and simple, whereas pathic terms are more complicated and abstract, and so, more difficult to grasp; and three, are more readily applicable to children, or to those who questionably are or are not pathics, without offense or misapplication. You could call a child hard-natured without sounding accusatory as it would sound if you called him a psycopath, or sociopath, or narcipath; you would have to have strong evidence to back up your claim, which is normally hard to come by. Even if the child is clearly, let us say, a psychopath evident from his continuously destructive behavior, still a professional (counselor, school principal, etc) could not accuse such a child as being a psychopath to his parents. Only a professional psychologist or psychiatrist could do so, and with the greatest caution.
21. One final contrast between soft-natures and hard-natures to be made is that soft-natures need foremost to be loved and to love, which includes all the soft expressions of that love, such as, affection, care, warmth, understanding, gentleness, appreciation, consideration, understanding and the like; whereas, hard-natures need foremost to be needed more than to be loved: the need to be respected, honored, admired for one's acts and deeds and expertise, and accomplishments.
If a soft-nature is loved for himself, there is no desperate need for him to be needed first and foremost; that comes next in his or her hierarchy of personal fulfillment's, either consciously or unconsciously. By contrast, a hard-nature, whose need to be needed is foremost, does not need, nor even want, to be loved - wants none of that affection, attachment, caring, "effusions".
A soft-nature whose need to be loved is not met, or is distorted, suffers various forms of worth- lessness, and might very well be satisfied with being needed only at least, in that case, he is recognized as a meaningful entity to someone, or to others. A hard-nature whose need to be needed is frustrated also suffers worthlessness, and might be satisfied with being loved so long as he is adored, or he is able to control, or instill fear into those who supposedly love him; or rather, are obsessed with him.
22. Notice in the matter of addictions, that it is more the soft-natures who become addicted to drugs and alcohol than the hard-natures. These latter are hardly not as impressionable, nor vul- nerable, to the intense emotional, psychic, disturbances and tensions that can lead a soft-natured person to addictions, of one type or another, in order to survive, or get by.
23. The "meanness" of a soft-natured woman: "I was kind of mean today with the kids [her fourth grade students] my kind of mean, which is sharp and impatient. I told them I was going to rest and go to the doctor for my allergies; and I will come back, and I wouldn't be grouchy anymore."
24. SOFT NATURES IN PARTICULAR
1. Some basic inclinations - despite good or poor judgment of the fairly balanced soft-natured person:
Is inclined toward moral idealism - right, goodness, integrity, and the like
Is inclined to consider the better of people rather than the worst
Is inclined to be more on the defensive than on the offensive
Is inclined to guilt, or remorse, when he or she hurts another's feelings
Is inclined to be affectionate
Is inclined to be compassionate
Is inclined to be passionate
Is inclined to shame
Is inclined to love intensely and / or deeply
Is inclined toward variable neuroses
Is inclined to forgive others both discriminately and indiscriminately
Is inclined to become hardened by adverse environmental conditions
Is inclined to knowledge and understanding
Is inclined to spirituality, wisdom, philosophy, metaphysics, aesthetics (art, literature, poetry, film, dance, music, etc.)
Is inclined to the love of natural and sensuous beauty
Is inclined to self-reflection, introspection, contemplation, meditation, etc.)
Is inclined to monogamy
Is inclined to humility
Is inclined to self-improvement
Is inclined to help others
Is inclined to "save the world"
Soft-Natures And Conscience
2. A guilty conscience: That we don't do right by another person or others, or ourselves. It preys on us; and because of it, hard-natures prey upon it.
2:1 My mind tells me that something is wrong, and if I do it - or not do it I will feel ashamed or remorseful, or guilty, or blameworthy.
2:2 I prefer not to hurt another's feelings; but when I do because of my self-will gone astray, I try to make amends.
2.3 Or if I do something morally wrong, I feel guilty, and might try to rationalize or justify my act; but the very fact that I have to rationalize or justify my act indicates that my conscience bothers, or plagues, me.
2:4 Or if I don't do my duty, or what I ought to do, my conscience assails me; and again I try to make amends.
2:5 Or if I don't come up to my expectations, I feel guilty, and so suffer from my conscience.
2.6 Or if I don't fulfill my obligations or responsibilities, I feel guilty, and so suffer from my con- science.
2:7 My conscience dictates to me what I believe is right and proper.
2:8 Hard-natures play off a soft-natured person's conscience; and accordingly, control and dominate her/him.
2:9 One's conscience can be so dictatorial, so dominating, that one can become stifled emo- tionally (underlying depression, for example); and so, dysfunctional psychologically.
2:10 Conscience is essentially a strong, soft-natured trait. The soft-nature's (moral-loving) conscience inhibits, prohibits, one from doing harm to others overall; yet regarding themselves, they often enough go against their conscience, when they have only themselves to answer to.
2:11 To be free of this "nagging conscience" and its train of guilt, shame, embarrassment, anxiety, of the "abyss" of evil is this not a sometimes secret impulsion in the soft natured ones, if only for "a walk on the wild side," an exercise in consciencelessness, to be as the hard-natured ones! Would that not be one of our three wishes from the genie of the lamp?
Soft-natures and Love
2:12 As soft-natured persons are deeply and intensely, impressionable to human feelings and relationships, it is understandable why they would be especially bonded to intimates (their spouses, lovers, children, parents, friends, extended family) as well as humanity as a whole. This bond can be considered the love that draws them to others; and so to do good for and by them, to alleviate their suffering, to embrace them. Love, then, in this human sense, can be considered an affectionate bond of compassionate unity.
2:13 Soft-natures are given to caring-love often excessively so that the hard-natures make sure that their partner - their "victim" falls head-over-heels in love with him/her. Once that love is cemented, the bond remains so tight that it would take an equal or stronger bond to break it (a splitting of the atom, so to speak). That is why the hard-natured ones make sure no other such bond occurs (other than for him/herself) by his victim; hence, his victim's weakening and breaking ties with old friends, family members, God, Jesus, and whoever or whatever else that would threaten the hold, the grip, he has on her, or she has on him.
2:14 The softer one is, the more receptive to love he or she is; and so the more intense and/or deep she loves, the more understanding of others and oneself, the more she identifies with others. Sensory, sensual, sensuous, stimuli, impress themselves deeply, intensely, into her being. Yet if she is bound obsessively, compulsively, to a hard nature, all her love energy would be fo- cused into her "lord"; and so, she has little or nothing left for others or for her broader, transcen- dent, side. And this is what is meant when we say a hard-natured person, bordering on or settled in, pathic behavior, has broken a person's spirit.
Soft-natures and Neurosis
3. Neurosis: "any of various mental or emotional disorders, such as hypochondria, arising from no apparent organic lesion and involving symptoms such as anxiety and depression." (American Heritage Dictionary)
3:1 The softer one is, the more receptive he is to neurosis; and the more neurotic one is, the more receptive he is to destructive mostly self-destructive behavior. And why is this? because soft-natures are more impressionable emotionally, sensitively, intellectually, than hard-natures; and being more impressionable, they are more subject to, more sensitive to, and so, more vulnerable to, the aura of others' various states of mind; that is, their moods, their body language, their pre- tenses, and so forth. They somehow identify with these conditions, and so, by transference, are affected by them; they "pick up on the vibes," so to speak, and consequently, are intensely vul- nerable to anxiety at the other person's negativity, or are favorably receptive to the other person's positivity. Sympathy, compassion, empathy, for others are as natural to them, as the lack of these qualities are as natural to pathics.
3:2 The neurotically soft-natures have had their self-identity so inhibited, devalued, to such an ex- tent that their self-worth is minimized to the unwarranted control, expectations, and influence, of others.
3:3 The soft-natured neurotic, of a dysfunctional type, can hardly function in society without ex- cessive anxiety and/or inhibition. The psychoneurotic, to a further extreme, withdraws into the fantastic chambers of psychic fragmentation or derangement.
3:4 Some extremes of the soft-nature type: hyperactivity, neurosis, paranoia, mania, split person- alities, delusions, masochism, compulsion, obsessions, and the list goes on.
3:5 It is the neurotics (mainly soft-natures in the extreme) who are, or become, the odd, the dys- functional, the "sick," individuals. Pathics, on the other hand, are quite healthy-minded, so long as they are acting relatively successfully according to their natural tendencies and traits. Neurotics are especially susceptible to extremes of emotion, self-abnegation, insecurity; they are not the healthy-minded, since they are not "acting successfully according to their natural tendencies and traits."
3:6 In general, soft-natures, when psychically out of balance, tend toward neurotic behavior, often beyond their natural tendencies that is, not to act so excessively against themselves, and there- fore against others; while hard-natures, when psychically out of balance, tend toward pathic be- havior, often beyond their natural tendencies not to harm others to the excess that they do.
3:7 The soft natures have to be careful that they don't fall into the guilt trap of thinking that when, justifiably or unjustifiably, they feel no remorse about a certain matter, or act irresponsibly, or pre- tend to feelings or sentiments that they really don't feel, or act selfishly, or do not feel conscience-ridden on doing something wrong, or act from spite, and the like that that they themselves might very well be hard-natured, or worse, pathics. Yes, soft-natures certainly do have the array of pathic traits, being human; and so are bound to express them toward others at times, perhaps even more often than they would prefer. The point of departure between them and the hard-natures or path- ics, is: malice intended to harm others not only now and then, but continuously as a way of life. And for those soft-natures who are wise in the way of pathics, acting hard, even pathicly, (without conscience or remorse, for instance) is proven to be necessary for their own protection.
4. Then there are those soft-natures who have hardened themselves for protection against the harsh reality of an adverse environment, such as, family, school, workplace, or otherwise. Yet whose soft side cannot help but come through when in the company of a recognizable trustworthy fellow soft-nature.
Basic Characteristics of Soft Natures
5. The following catalogue is a spectrum of characteristics natural and habitual to soft-natures, on the whole. These characteristics are diametrically opposed to the characteristics of hard-natures as shown below the list of soft-natures.
accommodating - affable - affectionate - agreeable - amorous - amenable - amicable - bashful - benevolent - broad-minded - brotherly - candid - caring - charitable - cheerful - childlike - companionable - compassionate - conciliatory - congenial - conscionable - considerate - convivial - courteous - decorous - devoted - docile - domestic - dutiful - easygoing - empathetic - fair-minded - faithful - forgiving - forthright - generous - gentle - genuine - good-hearted - good-natured - gracious - guileless - grateful - high-minded - honest - honorable - humble - impartial - incorruptible - ingenuous - just - kindhearted - loving - loyal - modest - moral - noble - nurturing - open-handed - openhearted - open-minded - optimistic - patient - peaceful - polite - principled - high-principled - remorseful - reserved - respectful - responsible - right-minded - scrupulous - self-controlled - sensitive - sentimental - shy - diffident - softhearted - sympathetic - sweet - thankful - thoughtful - timid - transcendent - truthful - trustworthy - understanding - upfront -upright - virtuous - warm-hearted - wise - even-tempered - introspective - philosophical - poetic - idealistic - selfless
25. HARD NATURES IN PARTICULAR
 A moderately hard-natured person will, for one reason or another, shy away from harming others; he or she just doesn't care for people except for the pleasure they provide him, or when he is made to be polite or helpful.
 The hard-natured ones would rather be needed than loved.
Basic characteristics of hard-natures
egoistical - egotistical - satanical - sham - vulgarian - underhanded - arrogant - puissant - unfair - evil - crass - two-faced - hard-faced - hateful - sociopathic - dictatorial - autocratic - diabolical psycopathic - anarchistic - brutal - cruel - debaucherous - dishonest - duplicitous - hypocritical - inhumane - insincere - mocking - promiscuous - pugnacious - rapacious - treacherous - cowardly - cruel - dastardly - distrustful - ferocious - fulsome - inhumane - insulting - niggardly - shrewish - unloving - greedy - mean-spirited - demeaning - mean - insolent - malevolent - violent - domineering - fierce - aggressive - avaricious - back-handed - baleful - baneful - beastly - bloodthirsty - brutish - cold-hearted - conceited - deceitful - faithless - false-hearted - ferocious - fiendish - greedy - guileful - hard-hearted - haughty - heartless - heinous - hellish - ill-natured - imperious - impious - lascivious - licentious - loathsome - malicious - monsterous - niggardly - officious - perfidious - pernicious - pompous - pretentious - pugnacious - querulous - rigid - rouguish - salacious - sanctimonious - savage - shallow - shameless - shrewish - spiteful - stingy - thoughtless - treacherous - trustless - truthless - ruthless- uxorious - vicious - vindictive - conceited - conscienceless - prodigal - priggish - exploitive - unsconscionable - self-righteous - unjust - surly - officious
a bastard - a bitch - a knave - a brute - a villain - a weasel - a trickster - a vulgarian - atroctious - an anarchist - a mocker - a thief - a shrew - a sneak - a fiend - a backbiter - a libertine - a devil - a tormentor - a malcontent - a rogue - a harasser - a sycophant - a ruthless opportunist - a femme fatale - a temptress - a charlatan